Kurt v Rock (March 2000 Raw)
This message is for all you children out there.
Although Sunday is a school night, I am giving all my young fans permission to stay up late Sunday night for Wrestlemania.
To watch your Olympic Hero retain both the European and Intercontinental titles.
And as sure as I am that the San Antonio Spurs will not repeat as World Champions this year, they won't, they won't.
I am sure that I will repeat as Euro-Continental champion at Wrestlemania.
I will, I will.

Kurt/Big Show v E&C
Finally, my quest to require Championship gold has come to an end!
Because tonight, I have the one partner guarrenteed, he's guarrenteed, to bring home the tag team titles.
The most dominant force in Sports Entertainment today, the Big Show.
(Big Show comes out in a kilt)
Kurt: What are you doing?
BS: Hold this a second for me lad. Can't you see, you wee berry, I'm trying to have a bit of fun
Kurt: Well, I'm here to win Championship Gold, I don't know about you
BS: Oh, I see, you want to add more medals around your neck? It's more of a bowling ball on a concrete block. Now hold on, hold on. I'm here to get gold too. But I guarrentee they don't hope to see gold around your neck or around your waist, they want to know whats's under my kilt.
Kurt: Hold on
BS: You can bet your daisies I'm gonna show em' cos I'm dead sexy.
Kurt: No, no, hey, don't do that, there's children
BS: Oh, I suppose you want to get this thing going don't you? And I'll help you with your quest for gold. So bring out the wee fairy sissy boys and lets get this thing going

Kurt/Bob Backlund v Jericho/Chyna (March 2000)
Now, I realise that Long Island New York is going through some very hard times.
For example, the economy here has plummeted. But I'm doing my best as Intercontinental champion to help solve that problem, as I did for Europe!
And two, Amy Fisher has been set free from jail so I want all you men out there and your wives/girlfriends to watch out, if you know what I mean.
And three, did I mention that your Hockey team is a complete shambles? It's true, it's true
But to shine some light on the matter, tonight you not only have one hero to look upto, and to cheer for, you now have two heroes to look upto and to cheer for.
Your Intercontinental champion and European champion and 2x World Wrestling Federation champion...Bob Backlund!!!

Kurt v Val Venis - March 2000

This is, without a doubt, one of the darkest days in WWF history, if not, U.S. history.
It's true.
To lose, is one thing, but to lose two titles without being pinned, that's ridiculous.
I've received calls from parents, telling me, that their children were too depressed to go to school today, and quite frankly, I don't blame them.
In fact, I'm not sure the WWF will ever survive without your Olympic Hero as the Euro-Continental champion.
In less than 24 hrs, I've gone from owning two titles, to being forced to wrestle a film star.
The lowest form of life there is.
And since I care about my body and I don't want to tape myself, it's only fair, I wear, rubber sanitary gloves!!!

Kurt v Rikishi - April 2000
The question on everyone's mind, is, "Why Kurt"?
Why set aside your quest for Championship gold to concentrate on the Big Show?
Well, the answer is quite simple, if you'll pardon my expression, but the Big Show, is a big ass.
I do not like nor do I appreciate big asses.
And speaking of big asses, my opponent tonight is Rikishi, and maybe if Rikishi's parents would have practiced abstinence, we wouldn't be exposed to that awful repulsive rectum that he carries with him today.
It's true!!!

Kurt v Chris Benoit - SD May 2000
You know, last Monday night your Olympic Hero came to a realisation.
That preaching abstinence and posing with friends are all fun and good, but I'm an Olympic Gold medalist. The best in the whole world. Wow. It's mind boggling.
And none of you here, could possibly understand the goals and high standards that I set for myself, and it's been way too long since your Olympic hero has had Championship gold strapped around his waist here in the WWF!
It's true, it's DAMN true
And I realised tonight that the people here don't have much to live for. But the good news is, the good news is, you will remember this night forever, because tonight you will witness the crowning of a new Intercontinental Champion.

Kurt v Eddie - May 2000
Canada is lacking two things, it's true, don't make me say it again.
The first, is Olympic Heroes, and no, Ben Johnson does not count.
So it is my duty as an American Hero to represent all of you as well and become the North American Hero.
The second thing that Canada is lacking, is Memorial Day, which is today by the way.
And we in the States celebrate our war heroes by having barbeques, and I realise here in Canada you can't have barbeques because you'd probably be attacked by a moose or a Cariboo, or even a grizzly. It's true, hold on a second.
You'd probably be attacked by a grizzly as well.
On second thought, the grizzlies don't beat anyone here in Vancouver, let alone anywhere else.
It's true, it's true.
So after I win the European Championship tonight, I will not only be the North American hero I will also represent the great countries of Europe as well.
Once again your Olympic Hero is going global.

Kurt v Bradshaw - May 2000
Now, I know why all of you are down.
Because for the first time in my life it appears your Olympic Hero is in a slump.
For the past week I tried to attain Inter-Continental and European gold, only to come up empty handed. And sure, all of you people here are used too that. Falling short of your goals and dreams time after time.
And that's expected. But for me, it's different. Let's face it, I'm a winner. It's true, it's true.
So tonight, I say, no, I VOW to become King of the Ring. And I am so sure of that, that I didn't even bother to find out who my opponent was tonight. And guess what? I don't care.
Whoever it is, whoever my opponent is, I feel sorry for the poor soul, because tonight he is going to experience an Olympic lesson that he will never forget.

Kurt v Scotty 2 Hotty - SD May 18th 2000
You know, when I was in the Olympics, which I won, for all of you, by the way.
I thought I had seen every single wrestling hold, every single wrestling move, that you could possibly see. But you know something, I was wrong!
I discovered a wrestling move, well not so much a wrestling move, here in the WWF, that would make the Stinkface almost as technical as the German Suplex.
It is the single most insulting move to all the wrestlers across the country.
And that move is...The Worm!
People, people, the Worm is not a sanctioned wrestling move, it's true, its' true.
If your Olympic Hero were to use The Worm in the 1996 Olympic Games, it would be so embarassing to all the other athletes, and our country, mind you, that the USA would have finished behind, Quar, perhaps that last.
And all of you would not have an Olympic Hero to look upto, and that would ve ashame.
And you would be forced, you would be forced, to cheer for the Detroit Tigers.
It's true, it's true.


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